Posts Tagged ‘Jewish’

A Question Of Acceptance

Friday, June 22nd, 2012

I’ve never much liked the word “acceptance” – not the general umbrella of evaluating others’ philosophies of course – but rather in terms of daily life choices. It always conjured-up feelings of compromise or resignation or defeat.

“The runner accepted that he couldn’t go any further in the race…. the dancer accepted that she’d never become a prima ballerina…. the patient accepted the finality of the doctor’s diagnosis”.

Why shouldn’t a sprinter resolve to get up earlier, exercise more and train harder so that next time maybe he will win that 10K?

If she really wants it badly enough, why shouldn’t a dancer devote years at the barre and fight for a role in “Swan Lake”?

And isn’t it good common sense to get a second and a third opinion in light of a serious diagnosis? We’re constantly reminded that, despite their years of training, doctors aren’t gods. How many times do we hear stories of patients overcoming the odds and living for decades beyond their physician’s estimations?

Who doesn’t like a story of courage and determination?  At last count, that video of a dowdy-yet-destined-for-success Susan Boyle singing “I Dreamed A Dream” has logged over ninety-five million views.  And along with ten megapixel pictures of our friends’ latest sushi plates and trips to Aruba, aren’t our Facebook pages and emails also peppered with daily recitations of inspiration and encouragement to buck the odds?

But lately I’ve become aware of another concept of acceptance.

A book to which many of my friends subscribe suggests that, in an alternate form of thinking, acceptance may be a good thing. It goes so far as to say that it actually may be an answer to a lot of my problems.

It suggests that whenever I’m agitated, it’s probably because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of life – to be unacceptable. Furthermore, it says that I’ll probably find little peace in my heart and mind until I accept them as being exactly the way they’re supposed to be at the moment. It further suggests that nothing happens by mistake in God’s world, and that the very key to my happiness may lie in accepting life on life’s terms – concentrating not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.

At first glance, it’s confusing, but the last part helps make it clear. Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean I have to be defeated. It doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t work for my dreams and goals or have courage in my convictions. But it does mean that I don’t serve myself well when I spend my time worrying about, obsessing over and resenting other people’s lives.

A runner who obsesses over the other guy who’s faster, rather than working on improving his own skills, risks defeating only himself.  A dancer who drowns in envy at the success of another performer, rather than working to be the best she can be on her own, lessens her chances to fulfill her dreams. A patient with a difficult diagnosis who succumbs to self-pity and resentment risks blinding himself to the everyday miracles which make each moment of all of our lives so precious.

I recently read that a basic tenet of living a good life is continually seeking a balance of our priorities. It seems clear that another key to living my best life may also include finding a balance of acceptance.

 

Tom Swift Gives Service

Monday, November 28th, 2011

More than a century ago, the first of a collective of authors adapted the pseudonym “Victor Appleton” and began writing novels about a fictional character named Tom Swift. The hero was a young inventor who, over the years, prophetically envisioned portable movie cameras, diesel locomotives, house trailers, motorcycles and sending photos by phone – all long before the technologies were in place.

But even the Appleton authors could never have foreseen the technological universe in which you and I live today. We’re a gadget-laden, keyboard-tapping, button-pushing society with instant gratification expectations; knock-you-dead miracles are an everyday occurrence packaged in the latest app on the newest tablet or touch screen.

And with the flick of a switch we’re privy to celebrities’ misbehaviors, gourmet recipes for Strawberry Shish Kebab, remote robotic cancer surgeries and live video from the Western Wall.

It’s truly a miraculous time to be alive.

But as our physical world compulsively compresses to accommodate our bedroom computer screens, I’m wondering if the landscape of our everyday lives is in danger of  becoming more narrow.  While many folks use the tools of technology to enlarge the scope of their day, we’re under siege from a staggering epidemic of isolation.

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t unintentionally killed an hour or a morning having gotten sucked into a view of the world through cyber eyes. And in many cases, that’s not a bad thing: we’re digesting information at record pace and constantly nudging that eleventh percent of our grey matter into action.

But when those hours turn into days and the days into nights, maybe we need to find a better way – and there’s no better path than getting out into real life.

Recently I had the opportunity to lead a group of volunteer singers performing on a Sunday morning for  residents at the Jewish Home For The Aged in Reseda, California.

I gotta tell you – there’s nothing like it.  There’s nothing like switching off the screens, getting dressed and going out into the world and interacting with our fellow human beings. There’s nothing like seeing another person’s face light- up from our efforts.

And there’s nothing like giving service – real one-on-one, face-to-face service.  It may not be as conveniently titillating as an hour on Yahoo, but it’s us living our own best lives instead of vicariously living someone else’s.

As this new year draws to a close, along with lusting after the latest technological wonders, maybe we’ll also recognize them for their potential negative impact and be appropriately wise in our choices. I’m boldly certain that none of us will have deathbed regrets of wishing we’d spent more time on our technology.

It’s a great world out there, and the opportunities are waiting for us – now. Isolating be damned: there’s people to help and lives to be lived.

Here’s to a healthy, happy New Year for you and all those you hold dear.